For a forthcoming article about law school mediation courses, I developed a list of key values and principles that I think people in our field generally share. They are about the roles of practitioners – including both mediators and attorneys – when working with clients in mediation. Faculty can advocate them in any mediation course … Continue reading Shared Values and Principles in Mediation
Gary Doernhoefer, the founder of ADR Notable, suggested that I produce a bibliography for its users. ADR Notable is an app providing case management software to help mediators handle case intake, bill clients, manage client documents, develop checklists and task reminders, take notes, build documents, and manage client relationships generally. Gary recognized that our respective … Continue reading Real Practice Systems Project Annotated Bibliography
When Someone You Love Is Upset, Ask This One Question, writes New York Times “wellness columnist” Jancee Dunn. It’s a helpful question for almost anyone – including colleagues, students, and clients – even if you don’t love them. This question can give people a sense of control, which they may really appreciate, especially when they … Continue reading Do You Want to Be Helped, Heard or Hugged?
My colleague, Ilhyung Lee, pointed me to another graduation speech highlighting the importance of generally listening respectfully to and engaging with people we disagree with. He sent me a link to a speech by University of Chicago Law Professor Tom Ginsburg, entitled “Conversation and Democracy.” I had cited Bret Stephen’s speech and Jen Reynolds linked … Continue reading What We Do Is So Important
New York Times columnist Bret Stephens was the commencement speaker at the University of Chicago, and he published his speech, Go Forth and Argue. Arguing may seem like the antithesis of negotiation and mediation. But it’s not – at least not if we sincerely listen to others with differing views, are open to reconsidering our … Continue reading Go Forth and Argue
I recently posted a short article you might want to read, The Importance of Really Listening – For Ourselves, Others, and Democracy. Here’s the abstract. This article discusses how listening carefully can help others and ourselves and is important for healthy democratic processes. Relying on Kathryn Schulz’s book, Being Wrong: Adventures in the Margin of … Continue reading The Importance of Really Listening – For Ourselves, Others, and Democracy
I just posted this short article using memoirs by and/or about five women to illustrate common patterns of conflict. The books describe women throughout the life cycle in different eras and places. Reading people’s stories can help us to “look through others’ eyes” to learn about worlds we do not know and to help us understand … Continue reading Tales of Five Women
New York Times columnist David Brooks wrote a touching essay about his reactions to a lifelong friend’s struggle with depression and ultimate suicide. Mr. Brooks gave Pete advice about how to deal with his depression – and found that his efforts were counterproductive. It’s only later that I read that when you give a depressed … Continue reading The Gift of Really Listening
Question: Where does conflict come from? Answer: Normal, unconflicted life. Building on Felstiner, Abel, and Sarat’s classic article describing the genesis of disputes, Naming, Blaming, Claiming, this overgrown blog post uses memoirs to analyze how people develop “perceived injurious experiences” (PIEs), some of which become grievances (when they blame others), and some of which become … Continue reading Slices of Conflict in Life
That’s the title of an article in the New York Times. It reports that “[s]ame-sex couples, on average, resolve conflict more constructively than different-sex couples, and with less animosity, studies have shown.” It cites researchers suggesting ideas that our field generally recommends including: Using humor to defuse anger Staying calm Being mindful of the other’s … Continue reading Gay Couples Can Teach Straight People a Thing or Two About Arguing
