I just posted this short article using memoirs by and/or about five women to illustrate common patterns of conflict. The books describe women throughout the life cycle in different eras and places.
Reading people’s stories can help us to “look through others’ eyes” to learn about worlds we do not know and to help us understand our own experiences.
My article builds on Felstiner, Abel, and Sarat’s classic article, Naming, Blaming, and Claiming, describing the genesis of disputes. Their framework describes how people develop “perceived injurious experiences” (PIEs), some of which become grievances (when they blame others), some of which become claims (when they demand satisfaction), and eventually disputes (when their demands aren’t fully satisfied).
Only a small proportion of disputes involve lawyers or become lawsuits. Most of the time, people experience life as normal – not perceiving that they have injurious experiences, which Felstiner, Abel, and Sarat called “unPIEs,” – until something causes them to perceive that they have a problem.
My article describes a great variety of PIEs and strategies for dealing with them.
Take a look.