My colleague, Ilhyung Lee, pointed me to another graduation speech highlighting the importance of generally listening respectfully to and engaging with people we disagree with. He sent me a link to a speech by University of Chicago Law Professor Tom Ginsburg, entitled “Conversation and Democracy.” I had cited Bret Stephen’s speech and Jen Reynolds linked … Continue reading What We Do Is So Important
New York Times columnist Bret Stephens was the commencement speaker at the University of Chicago, and he published his speech, Go Forth and Argue. Arguing may seem like the antithesis of negotiation and mediation. But it’s not – at least not if we sincerely listen to others with differing views, are open to reconsidering our … Continue reading Go Forth and Argue
I recently posted a short article you might want to read, The Importance of Really Listening – For Ourselves, Others, and Democracy. Here’s the abstract. This article discusses how listening carefully can help others and ourselves and is important for healthy democratic processes. Relying on Kathryn Schulz’s book, Being Wrong: Adventures in the Margin of … Continue reading The Importance of Really Listening – For Ourselves, Others, and Democracy
I just posted this short article using memoirs by and/or about five women to illustrate common patterns of conflict. The books describe women throughout the life cycle in different eras and places. Reading people’s stories can help us to “look through others’ eyes” to learn about worlds we do not know and to help us understand … Continue reading Tales of Five Women
New York Times columnist David Brooks wrote a touching essay about his reactions to a lifelong friend’s struggle with depression and ultimate suicide. Mr. Brooks gave Pete advice about how to deal with his depression – and found that his efforts were counterproductive. It’s only later that I read that when you give a depressed … Continue reading The Gift of Really Listening
Question: Where does conflict come from? Answer: Normal, unconflicted life. Building on Felstiner, Abel, and Sarat’s classic article describing the genesis of disputes, Naming, Blaming, Claiming, this overgrown blog post uses memoirs to analyze how people develop “perceived injurious experiences” (PIEs), some of which become grievances (when they blame others), and some of which become … Continue reading Slices of Conflict in Life
That’s the title of an article in the New York Times. It reports that “[s]ame-sex couples, on average, resolve conflict more constructively than different-sex couples, and with less animosity, studies have shown.” It cites researchers suggesting ideas that our field generally recommends including: Using humor to defuse anger Staying calm Being mindful of the other’s … Continue reading Gay Couples Can Teach Straight People a Thing or Two About Arguing
My recent piece about introversion seems to have struck a nerve. It stimulated the most – and most intense – reactions to any of my posts. Several people emphatically identified with it, saying that they felt that it was about them. I’m sure a lot of other readers felt that way too. Introversion is a … Continue reading Coming Out as Introverted
Do you often feel introverted, generally preferring to be in a small group of trusted friends than in a large gathering, for example? It turns out that there are a lot of people who feel that way. Susan Cain, author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, cites studies … Continue reading Introversion, the Legal Profession, and Dispute Resolution
In 2018, I wrote a post, Make Video History, describing my experiences creating videos – especially oral history videos – and encouraging others to do so. (In those quaint old days, I included a link to zoom, figuring that most people weren’t familiar with it.) In the 1980s, I conducted oral history interviews of my … Continue reading Making Video History, Revisited
