The word of the month for November is “moreish.”

I first heard the word “moreish” last month, when watching the latest season of the Great British Baking Show (or Bake-Off, if you’re in the UK). A contestant had prepared a rhubarb custard cake, and after taking a bite, judge Paul Hollywood said:

With creme pat and the rhubarb, the slice is quite moreish.

I had no idea what this meant, and I was not alone. It turns out that moreish is an adjective applying to food and means “having a pleasant taste and making you want to eat more.” The earliest known use of the word is 1691, by Willem Sewel (who was, among other things, a historian of Quakerism).

It’s certainly a fun word, especially with Thanksgiving right around the corner, but what does it have to do with ADR? At least two things (though admittedly these may be stretches).

First, the word serves as a reminder that when it comes to communication, not everything can be gleaned from context. The judges on the GBBS use a lot of British slang, and normally it’s obvious what they’re saying even if you’ve never heard the word before. Clearly it’s no good to have produced something that’s “claggy” or “stodgy” or has a “soggy bottom,” for example. Those words sound bad and sure enough, when they’re used, the baker looks crestfallen. In this particular case, no one looked upset or askance when Paul said “moreish,” so I knew it couldn’t be bad. But I didn’t know if it was a good or neutral kind of word; was it praise (I want more) or description (there’s a lot going on here)? The only way forward was to seek clarity by asking the direct question: what does that word mean? In ADR, we often talk about inquiry as a component of listening – it’s often not enough just to be attentive and open.

Second, and relatedly, the fact that I couldn’t tell what Paul meant by “moreish” is an indicator of how willing he is to provide both critical and positive feedback. Providing critical/negative feedback is not always easy, especially when we want to be encouraging, but it is often extremely helpful to people to understand where things are going wrong. Mediators as well as ADR teachers and trainers often have opportunities to provide feedback, along with modeling constructive approaches in conflict settings. The more quickly and specifically this feedback can be given the better, and of course the spirit of the feedback—does it come from a desire to help?—makes a difference in how the recipient takes the feedback. One of the pleasures of watching the GBBS is listening to the direct, targeted feedback of the judges and then seeing the contestants put that advice into action (or not) in their next bakes.

May your month be full of moreish delights! 😊