Master Class in Non-Apology Apologies

Washington Post columnist and honorary dispute resolution expert Alexandra Petri provided a highly nuanced analysis of non-apology apologies recently illustrated by the grand master, Rep. Ted Yoho, who called his colleague, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, a “fucking bitch” (pardon my French).

(Careful readers will recall my thrilling two-part series on non-apology apologies beginning here as well as sundry other posts about apologies.)

Professor Petri distilled the essence of great non-apology apologies.  She writes, “Every good apology contains five parts:

1) What sounds like the beginning of a normal apology. …

2) Denial that the event in question even happened. …

3) Apology for something that someone else did wrong. …

4) Panegyric about yourself. [Don’t forget to look up “Panegyric.”] …

5) Refusal to apologize!”

Fortunately, there’s still time to include this in all your syllabi for the fall semester.

BTW, my wife forced me to say I’m sorta sorry if anyone’s hyper-sensitive feelings were hurt in any way by this post, which was a perfectly fine demonstration of my superior cognitive abilities, you snowflakes!

See how easy it is to ace the course!