3 thoughts on “An Example of an Apology”

1. I really enjoyed watching this apology on SNL. I actually watched the clip where Pete Davidson made fun of Dan Crenshaw a few weeks ago when it aired and of course it was distasteful, but, at the same time, it’s SNL and it seems like SNL can pretty much say anything without any repercussions. This time, however, proved to be different. Especially with Veteran’s Day coming up, and obviously just in general, certain jokes like this shouldn’t happen. But what I was most impressed with with Pete’s apology is that it was not just a message to viewers for a few seconds—Pete and Dan actually sat together, face-to-face, where Pete issued his apology and Dan was then awarded the chance to make fun of a picture of Pete and express why this is not acceptable.

   This situation reminded me a lot of what a mediation is supposed to be. It starts with someone doing something that makes another person upset and eventually leads to those two people sitting down, face-to-face to work through their differences and come to an agreement that is workable for both sides. And, often enough, an apology is offered. The parties work together to find a solution that equally splits the pie. Similarly, in this video, Pete and Dan both were able to split the pie equally by having Dan roast Pete and also being allowed the opportunity to remind us who we are as Americans—Americans are more than just two separate parties with different viewpoints. Yes we can roast each other about our differences, but Dan specifically referenced to how we as Americans need to treat veterans. We can say nice things to veterans, but we as Americans need to remember that we are not so different at the end of the day—we are “connected together as grateful, fellow Americans.” It is important that we remember “what brings us together as a country and still see the good in each other.” Dan reminds us to “never forget” America’s past. As in mediation, the mediator helps the parties to understand the other side’s point of view and interests and to use that understanding to create a workable solution that mutually benefits both sides. Parties learn that sometimes their interests, although different, can sometimes be shared with the other side.

2. I would first like to thank Lieutenant Commander Crenshaw and all of the brave men and women who have served our country.

   The day after Pete Davidson made his remarks on Saturday Night Live, Lieutenant Commander Crenshaw took to Twitter to address the controversy. Mr. Crenshaw tweeted “Good rule in life: I try hard not to offend; I try harder not to be offended. That being said, I hope @nbcsnl recognizes that vets don’t deserve to see their wounds used as punchlines for bad jokes.”

   I agree with Mr. Crenshaw’s rule in life but I do see it a little differently. I believe that all people should equally try not to offend and not be offended. In my mind, empathy is one of the most important traits in a person. One of the biggest takeaways that I have gotten from our Alternative Dispute Resolution class is to be empathetic. As future attorneys, we should be empathetic not only to our own clients but to the other parties involved in the matter. As a mediator, arbitrator, or litigator it is crucial to understand not only the legal interests of everyone involved, but also the personal interests – what do these people really care about and what are these people really here for?

   Understanding and sharing the feelings of another person will definitely go a long way for us not only as law students, but as people generally.

   Like Mr. Crenshaw I believe that it is also important not to be so easily offended. People should not take themselves so seriously as to never poke fun or laugh at themselves. This goes without saying that people are of course entitled to feel upset and sad if something does cross a line and truly offends them. I am sure Mr. Crenshaw was at first offended and upset at the joke, but I thought it was very commendable of him to go on the show and accept Pete Davison’s apology. This makes me think, maybe more people will not be so offended if there are more sincere and personal apologies that follow an offensive act or remark.

   In this day and age of divisiveness and separation, Mr. Crenshaw and the cast of Saturday Night Live made a good point: Americans can forgive one another, Americans can remember what brings us together as a county, and Americans can still see the good in one another. There is no clear answer on how to combat the evil and hatred in the world, but maybe we can all start with truly understanding our fellow citizens, to think before we speak and act as not to offend anyone, and at the same time try to not be offended as best as you can.

3. In response to “AN EXAMPLE OF AN APOLOGY” I would like to note that I did some follow-up research and found an article written by Dan Crenshaw in response to SNL (https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/i-made-amends-with-pete-davidson-on-snl-but-thats-only-the-beginning/2018/11/13/e7314fb0-e77e-11e8-b8dc-66cca409c180_story.html). He notes that of course, the joke was ‘out of taste’, but what I found interesting was the fact that he, Dan Crenshaw, was not the one asking for an apology. A paragraph that resonated with me was,

   “But I also could not help but note that this was another chapter in a phenomenon that has taken complete control of the national discourse: outrage culture. It seems like every not-so-carefully-worded public misstep must be punished to the fullest extent, replete with soapbox lectures and demands for apologies. Anyone who doesn’t show the expected level of outrage will be labeled a coward or an apologist for bad behavior. I get the feeling that regular, hard-working, generally unoffended Americans sigh with exhaustion — daily.”

   Of course, I do agree that Davidson’s jokes crossed a line, but it was others that contacted Crenshaw in search of an apology. He calls this phenomenon ‘outrage culture’, and rightfully so. It may be helpful to advocate on someone else’s behalf, but in Crenshaw’s case, he did not seem interested in an open apology. So, my question is – what created this culture where it is so common to be offended by something that does not affect you?

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