Almost two decades ago, in what feels like a different lifetime, I did some work with folks who were focusing on questions of how best to teach productive conflict management skills to school-age children. I confess that some shiny object or another distracted me from that inquiry, and I haven’t spent much time thinking about it since then.
Until this morning.
This morning I saw a video some of the OUTLaws student members here at Oregon put together. (Video available here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gj106HwwGRU.)
Its basic message, “It gets better,” is targeted at young people who are, themselves, targets of bullying. It’s beautiful and touching, admittedly probably in part because I’m so fond of some of the students who appear in the video. But I’ve known them only as wonderful adult members of our law school community, and it’s painful to think about them going through bullying in their earlier years.
All of this leads me to wonder, again, about what kinds of contributions ADR professionals have been making in this arena. I’m hopeful that some others out there can help to educate me (and I’m hopeful the news is good).
MM
I remember my 5th grade “Peer Mediation” program. A group of students were trained in helping other students to solve their own problems. Students were offered the opportunity to sign up for a “mediation time slot” at their convenience. Afterwards, the mediators would schedule a time wherein they meet with the students going through the conflict. As a mediator during this process, I remember feeling as though the students really did leave having settled their dispute. However, an important aspect to this process is the requirement that the students voluntarily seek out help from the mediation clinic. If both students involved in the conflict did not agree to the mediation session, we were not allowed to meet with them. Therefore, only students who genuinely wished to solve their problems were afforded the opportunity to meet with a neutral 3rd party who would help them work through their conflict. Unfortunately, I believe that inherent in bullying is the “bully” who does not wish to solve conflict. In fact, I would guess that the individual who is doing the bullying does not view their actions as contributing to any conflict. It is my belief that bullies are able to “bully” because they do not take the time to look inwardly at themselves and imagine how their conduct is effecting those around them. As a result, I would imagine that few bullies would be capable of deciding to voluntarily seek mediation with those individuals whom they hurt. This subsequently begs the question of whether it is moral to force a bully to undergo a form of mediation. Furthermore, I question what a person would be able to learn from a mediation session when they do not voluntarily decide to attend. A more successful alternative may involve focusing on the bully and the victim separately.
I would like to ask if you would be interested in adding a few articles on bullying to our new website. This HALT website is designed as an open platform to build the bullying articles to help save a life. The more voices we have the children we can save.
http://www.haltnow.ca – Humanity Against Local Terrorism – HALT
A new website that offers education, prevention, support and services to abused and bullied victims throughout each of our communities. We do so in order to encourage education, prevention and support to aid people in our communities and our country . H.A.L.T. was created in order to help in finding a solution to stop this local terrorism of bullying, abuse and domestic violence within our communities. Please help us stop these senseless acts.
I look forward to any help you can offer. Wishing you all the best.
John